Happy Birthday, Vivian...and happy other days, too.

 We welcomed Vivian Nicole on Thursday, June 14, 2012. I had a repeat scheduled c-section and everything went great. Vivian is perfect and had no complications. I had her Thursday morning and because my recovery was going so well they let me go home a day early!!! So we took her home on Saturday. Much more comfortable!

Some things have been going smoothly. The joys of babyhood...

1. Seeing Ollie interact with her. He's amazing. He always wants to hug her and kiss her and tells others to treat her gently. He's a great big brother!

2. Cuddling with her even at 3am. She's such a good little snuggler.

3. Rubbing her satiny, soft skin.




4. Seeing her seeing me. She rarely opens her eyes these days and its a fantastic feeling when she gazes at me.

5. Imagining what our lives will be like going forward. Its hard to believe that someday we'll have two bodies running us ragged and filling our home with laughter.







Some things have not been going so smoothly. The downs of babyhood...

1. Breastfeeding isn't as easy as lactation consultants would like us all to think. I think they set us up for failure. They make you  think it should be simple and natural so when it isn't you feel like you're doing something wrong. I'm overcoming these feelings, but at 3am its hard to think positively when my baby won't latch on properly. HANDS...did you know babies have hands? The lactation consultants fail to tell you about these hands. I wake Vivian from sleep as soon as she starts stirring because I know she'll want to eat. By the time I get her clothes off of her and her diaper changed and ready to attach she's already chewing those hands and wailing when no milk appears. Then as I'm trying to get her latched on properly she's yelling at me and sticking those hands in her mouth. I don't have a third hand so it makes it difficult to get those darned things out of the way. And they have that rooting reflex that makes them turn their heads to the side. Well, if I had a nipple on my upper arm we'd be golden. Since I don't I have to deal with her turning her head to the side as I'm supposed to be aligning her tummy with mine and keeping her head facing me. She turns her head to the side and again tries to attach to my arm. When no milk comes flowing forth she wails and again, eats her hands.

2. Sleep. I don't feel sleepy most of the time, but I feel a tiredness that wears on my patience and my nerves. I know one day this will pass, but right now I'd like to get some solid sleep.

3. While Ollie is awesome with her he seems to have gotten louder and more rambunctious in the past few days. He runs non stop and won't stop yelling. He's just playing and having fun, but he's lacking some attention and seeing it directed somewhere else so he feels he needs to be loud and be seen most of the time. It makes it difficult, especially when recovering from major abdominal surgery to keep my cool with him. I'm a nervous wreck when he gets near me because I just know he's going to reopen my incision without the precision of a medical doctor and his tools. As I heal its less worrisome.

4. Healing is going great, but man its a pain. Literally and figuratively. I want to be back to my pre-pregnancy self and do the things I used to do now that I'm not carrying a child inside of me. However, I still can't stand up straight without some major effort. I know I'll get there, but today's not looking like that day.

5. Everyday goings. It's hard to get out of the house, not that we will be toting a newborn to Walmart, but a walk through the park would be nice. It makes it hard when breastfeeding isn't coming naturally, when pain is still a factor and when a newborn is so unpredictable at this point. We have doctors appointments to keep so that is another obstacle. We have to strategically plan things so we minimize meltdowns (mine included). It makes me very nervous.

So, my downs are a little more detailed than my joys, but don't be mistaken; I wouldn't do anything differently if I got a do-over.